What I eat in a Crohn's Flare

This will not be a popular article, so, like McDonald's chips, please take it with a pinch of salt!

I wrote this piece when I was still in Dundee. Returning home for the summer, I am no longer able to eat my 'safe foods': we have no McDonalds and I am frankly sick of beige food, after ten months of it. After including problem foods into my diet, I have been suffering from a bowel obstruction. It is looking increasingly likely that other options will have to be tried, again.  A huge hassle, as my IBD team are nearly 500 miles away. Thankfully, my old GP surgery have rallied behind me and I am being pushed through the services quickly. 

-

Often people living with debilitating health conditions are told to try new foods, diets and veg. A tip for anybody with friends or family with a digestive disease: please avoid starting a sentence with “have you tried eating...” Unless we ask for your advice or bring it up in conversation. You are probably not a dietician, and we, as sufferers, are unfortunately well acquainted with our bowels. Our body is quick to tell us off if we eat something “bad”. For me, “bad food” includes anything with a semblance of nutrition. That means salad, vegetables, most types of fruits, nuts and grains are completely off limits unless I want to spend the next few hours in agony as my body struggles to break these things down.

As someone with self confidence issues, my  weight is constantly on my mind. I am acutely aware of my weight at all times, especially as my Crohn’s causes uncomfortable bloating. Since my flare up began in October, I have put on two, nearly three stone, and I absolutely bloody hate it. While losing weight is common with Crohn’s, it is less known that you can fluctuate the other way. For me, this was part of the delay in diagnosis, with my GP associating the weight gain with my contraceptive pill. Clothes that I once loved I’ve had to give away. Perfectly good tshirts ranging in three dress sizes bring unfortunate attention to my belly (that often looks like I’m eight months pregnant and ready to pop) and it seems like some days the only outfit I can wear to hide myself is leggings and a hoodie.

For that reason, it must be crazy to complain that my main source of sustenance is McDonald’s. Unhealthy food is notoriously bad for bloating and gut illness, weight gain and obesity. I would agree, eating McDonald’s most days is absolutely not the healthiest lifestyle and has definitely contributed to my weight gain. However, what has also contributed to my weight gain is the fact that my body has issues breaking down nutrition. Unless I want to live my life on nutrition replacement and a liquid diet. It is an option: I can cut all food and drinks out of my diet and replace them with powdery milkshake style drinks for a minimum of eight weeks. 

 I will suffer with foods, for as long as I can, thanks. 

“Avoid dairy, try vegan, my friend went gluten free and that helped”
I. Have. Already. Tried.
I’ve spent months in agony and vomiting after eating, the chances are I’ve already tried your diet suggestions. I tried gluten free in December, it didn’t help because I’m not coeliac. I tried going vegan, but a diet made up of the foods I absolutely cannot digest was not wise.

“What about porridge?”
It would be good if porridge wasn’t a fibrous food, interfering with my very inflamed colon's ability to pass stool.

Even advice from other sufferers of IBD is often unhelpful. Between sufferers, what works for one often won’t work for another. My gut bacteria and immune system are faulty, which are both an incredibly personalised thing. Many people complain about not being able to tolerate spicy foods, when this is my favourite type of food. On the other hand, there are many suffers of IBD who can eat absolutely anything in remission without it causing a flare. Unfortunately for me, we can't even get out of this flare to find out what I'm like in remission. 


I’m sorry to those who might have come to this post looking for some relief, or a standardised diet. I unfortunately can not offer you that, nobody, except a nutritionist or dietician can do that for you, and even then, it is trial and error to find something that works without some symptom popping up. 

My diet currently looks something like this:
Breakfast: Rice crispies with milk, toast, croissant or nothing
Lunch: McDonald’s cheeseburger & fries, bagel, baked potato with topping or nothing
Dinner: McDonald’s cheeseburger x2 & fries, McDonald’s 6 piece McNuggets & fries, fries, or some other beige food with no veg.
Beige food has been my saviour over the past six months. A high carb, low fruit and veg diet has meant that sometimes, my stools are formed and I’m not rushing to the bathroom as often as fifteen times after eating, I'm not vomiting, and I'm not in excruciating pain. 

I wish I could be more health conscious. I have not spoken to a dietician or nurse who could help me work out what works and what doesn’t in my diet, that's due to happen after summer. I just know that if I eat anything that isn’t beige, I suffer for it. My favourite food is the baked potato. I can’t top it with beans or cheese, but a baked potato is probably the healthiest option out of a bad bunch. At £1 for a pack of four baked potatoes, it’s cheaper than a £2.59 McDonald’s happy meal. But I’m not on Mars, and a diet solely made up of potatoes won't do me. 

I have the unfortunate need for tasty food. I enjoy food; I enjoy fancy foods, healthy foods, salad dressings. I hate bland food. A potato is more bland than a cheeseburger, especially without beans and cheese, because I wouldn't be able to digest the beans. Even coleslaw I can’t process.

Another issue is steroid treatment. Prednisone increases your appetite and also leads to significant weight gain. “Moon face” is a symptom of water and salt retention, which is the puffy cheeks that make your resident IBD sufferer look somewhat like a chipmunk. For this reason, and my absolutely horrid diet, I try to avoid snacking as much as I can. It gives me little control over my weight gain, six months of frequent McDonald’s: processed, greasy, fatty foods is not ideal for anyone, but it keeps the gains to a minimum. How I wish I was a weightlifter.

For the reasons listed above, McDonald’s has been my lifesaver. Praise be, Ronald McDonald, for your nutrition-less food. Thank you for the solid poop. Amen, glory glory, hallelujah.

Leanne-Sydonie